Guess it’s about time I post one of those blog posts about how it’s hard to keep up with posting on my blog. I’m not saying that blogging is as hard as, say, being a doctor. But it probably is. Doctors get paid rather handsomely for their doctoring, and when they are doctoring they probably don’t have a voice in their heads saying, “Really? Doctoring? Shouldn’t you be looking for a job?” So in that respect, maintaining a blog really is harder than being a medical doctor.
I’ve started several blogs in my day. Sometimes after just one post, I’ll think, “What the hell was I thinking with this blog? I’m so embarrassed! Oh dear!!” And I’ll stop it. I once started a blog called Sleepability. It was just going to be write-ups on the best albums to sleep to. I still think that’s not a bad idea for a blog, but for whatever reason I couldn’t commit and the blog itself entered a permanent slumber after just three posts.
I won’t let that happen to this blog, which is easier to stick with anyway because it’s just me talking about what’s going on in my life. But sometimes even that’s hard.
Here’s what’s going on. I am sitting on our couch next to Jen who is watching her new show, Shetland. It’s a murder mystery set in I think northern Scotland. Jen’s birthday is tomorrow. I want her to have a really nice day but it is largely out of my hands. She has not taken the day off work so that’s eight hours of her birthday I won’t be able to account for. But afterwards I think we’re gonna go see Jojo Rabbit. It is nominated for Best Picture at the upcoming Oscars. Most of the Oscar nominees are such odd choices. I see people are mad Uncut Gems was shut out. I’m mad that Uncut Gems was shut out of Australian movie theaters. I still haven’t seen that shit. It’ll be on Netflix by the end of the month, but I wanted to see it in a theater! I remember what a wild experience it was watching Good Time in the theater and I wanted more of that feeling, but I’ll never have it because I moved to Australia. Folks, I’m tellin’ ya, moving countries is rough!
Jen started work last week and Olive started daycare. Olive was sent home from daycare on her second day with a full body rash. It was on her butt and everything! I took her to a doctor. He was awkward with her. He told me, “Well if she just started daycare than we’re gonna be seeing you a lot in the next six months.” I thought, Buddy, what makes you think you’ll be our regular guy? Jen conferenced in from work. I put her on speakerphone. The doc didn’t like that. “This isn’t very practical,” he whined. Screw you, pal. You’ll never inspect my daughter’s little buttcheeks again. Or mine.
The second doctor came to our house. In Melbourne you can call this service, 13SICK, if it’s after hours and they’ll send a doctor to your house. He just comes right over, like he’s your best friend. It’s an incredible service. And best of all, it’s completely free. For as much as Australia seems like hell lately with all the fires, it is in many ways utopian compared to the United States. Free healthcare. No guns allowed. “Tapping” credit cards instead of swiping them. It’s unreal.
Neither of those doctors diagnosed Olive with roseola. And I gave them both the in to say, “Yeah, probably roseola.” But they just said, “Well, it’s not really roseola. I mean, you can’t quite call it roseola. There are a buncha rashes out there that it could be. If it were roseola, that shit would be fuckin’ everywhere.”
But a couple nights ago Olive projectile vomited like a sorority girl. A sorority girl who hasn’t partied in a long time but has now just been dumped by a guy she was really super into so decides to party harder than she ever has and is now paying the price big time. We called 13SICK again. Why not? It costs nothing! A different doctor came, and this time we were told, “Okay that shit’s definitely roseola. Nothing you can do about that, really… bye.”
Parenting never stops. It makes it so hard to do things. And when your kid’s sick, forget it. According to Reader’s Digest, nine out of ten new parents quit updating their blogs before their child’s first birthday. That’s some sad shit.
Olive was up until after 11pm last night. But then she slept through the night, and many parents don’t have that even with healthy kids, so we can’t complain. And I’ve been here on the couch with Jen for over an hour, and Olive’s been quiet, and Jen made such a good dinner for us, and it’s a beautiful night. We’ll probably go to sleep soon. I haven’t fallen asleep to an album in many years, but if I were going to, I guess I’d pick The Trinity Session by Cowboy Junkies, which you can read about on www.sleepability.tumblr.com. Happy birthday, Jen!!!